Shopping for a Church

Shopping for a Church
©2007 Celeste Billhartz

Oh, Lordy, all the nuns who taught me for most of my life will plotz and those who are gone will spin in their graves, but -- I am shopping for a new church!

I want a place that is pleasant, friendly and where I don't have to stand and kneel, stand and kneel so much. Sigh. I've been church shopping for about three months now.

I tried the Catholics, the Episcopalians, and the Unitarian-Universalists.

First, I went to the Episcopalians. Lovely church, so retro-Craftsman era, etc. My favorite kind of "look". However, I soon tired of the up-down-up-down quasi-Catholic stuff. Scratch the Episcopalians (I apologize to my fellow-WASPs, of which I am half.)

Then, I tried the Unitarian-Universalists. Now, there's a study in retro. I hadn't seen that many men with ponytails since the 60's. A very smart bunch, they had a presentation on computers. Yes, the sermon was about computers.

Now, I like computers, and I loved the 60's, but I didn't "get" the church service. Still, there was no up and down, up and down, so I might try them, again. Also, they don't dress up like the Catholics and the Episcopalians, so that's a point in their favor, too.

Ah, the Catholics. Well, I tried a 10am Mass and, except for the up and down, up and down, I liked the familiar scents and rituals. But, it wasn't as user-friendly as the UUs, nor as welcoming and well-appointed as the WASPs.

I think what I am ready for, spiritually, is something intellectually stimulating, more of a discussion group. I don't know how that ties in with "spiritual" but, that's what I want ... and no up and down, up and down...:)