Early Afternoon, Same Day
©2007 Celeste Billhartz
Well, that little snit out of the way, here are more thoughts for this sunny afternoon:
You know the Robert Burns line, "Man's inhumanity to man"? Well, I decided that adopting is "Woman's inhumanity to woman."
I hear about some happy-camper moms in those Open Adoption
arrangements, but my advocacy is on behalf of the BSE (Baby Scoop Era 1940's - 1970's) moms who were severely, unconscionably, brutally taken advantage of by authorities -- and by their own mothers -- to take their infants from them.
The authorities -- many of them women -- wanted the infants to supply the adoption industry. The consumers were women. Don't get misled by the photo of a loving couple -- women wanted those babies ... and they got them.
The girl/mothers were abandoned by their own mothers. I don't care how long ago it happened or what your reasons were, YOU owe your daughter an apology. That is sooooooo important. Just put aside your pride and tell her: "I am sorry I gave your child away."
One of my mom-friends had that experience of her mother's apology, and it was greatly appreciated.
I don't hate adoptive parents, don't hate my adoptive parents, nor any of my adoptive relatives. I just hate adopting. I should never have been taken from my mother, nor should most of the children who were/are taken from their mothers.
The "most" is to acknowledge the very few babies whose mothers were/are terrible and ought not parent and the few who do not want to parent. That said, even those babies should stay within their families -- with grandma, auntie, cousin, good family friend.
Fat chance, since states and agencies make money/bonuses when kids are ADOPTED from foster care. Oh, don't get me started on that!
Gee, I had intended this blog to be warm and fuzzy. Guess my activism is sooooooo deeply felt I can't separate it from the rest of my life.
Things I love:
Hershey's Nuggets with milk chocolate, toffee and almonds
Real maple syrup on blueberry pancakes
Clothes from Lands End and LL Bean
Catalogues from Magellan and Territory Ahead
"Tweed" perfume and talc from The Vermont Country Store
Solitaire -- not the computer version. I have several decks of large-print cards -- one for travel and one for home.
Scrabble -- I want one of those travel-versions.
Crosswords -- love to bring my big book of NY Times crosswords to share with other volunteers at our local public radio station fund-drive. When we aren't answering the phones and taking pledges, we solve puzzles.
Woodsy places, forests, wildlife.
Lunch with friends.
Cooking -- I love to cook, especially old-fashioned meals I learned at home, from my German adoptive family. My favorite is Pork Roast, sauerkraut, mashed potatoes, gravy and green beans and applesauce.
Speaking of lunch: I have several "Lunch Buddies" -- women I have known for a long time and a few newly-met, with whom I meet, in two's or three's, about once a month or so. What makes these events so interesting is that they have never met each other! We are kindred-spirits because of politics or old days or interests, etc. I love them all. I think we stay friends because we don't annoy each other with our biases. lol
I am, clearly, anti-adopting and most are pro-adopting. I am a registered Republican, and most are Democrats. Still, we manage to be loving and kind to each other. They are very supportive of The Mothers Project and those who have seen my little DVD, Prayer for Truth, have been so moved by it. I told them, they will probably all meet at my funeral. Well, if I ever get my longer DVD done about The Mothers Project, I will have a showing of it and invite them all.