What If?

What If?


©2008 Celeste Billhartz


I used to be for adopting. That's what happened to me. My single 
mother gave birth to me and I was adopted. Just like millions of 
other kids. Most of us went to good homes and had good lives.

Many of us think otherwise, now. I guess the biggest reason is this: 
our mothers never got over losing their babies.

Why is it still socially acceptable to take babies from young 
mothers when we know, now, they will never get over the loss?

Think back to your first pregnancy. What if you were constantly 
badgered and told you had no business keeping your baby because you 
were single, and too young, and too poor to provide for him/her, 
that a married couple is waiting to provide him/her a much better 
life, and you are selfish for wanting to keep your baby?

What if, in that 9 months of psychological duress and brain-washing, 
you began to doubt your natural instincts to be a good mother? What 
if you believed that all the adults in your life knew best -- so, 
you signed an agreement to surrender your baby?

Remember how you felt about your baby, after giving birth? Would you 
have wanted to keep him/her – no matter what agreement you signed 
months, or weeks, or days before?

Today, as in our mothers' day, most girl/mothers change their minds, 
after giving birth, but everyone around them demands that they honor 
that agreement. The young mothers want to keep their babies! Nobody 
listens, nobody cares, because adopters -- checks in hand and names 
picked out -- are waiting for their babies.

I urge single young women to keep their babies. DON'T SIGN ANY 
AGREEMENTS, and read everything you do sign at every agency, health 
center or religious organization.

I urge /grandmothers/aunts/cousins to help young mothers keep their 
babies within their families. If your daughter, niece or cousin is 
very young -- or irresponsible, step in and file for Kinship Care or 
Legal Guardianship. Don't give her baby away! Please, don't do that 
to her. She won't be young and poor, forever.

I urge mature women to form support groups to help mothers and 
babies get a good start in life, together. Don't hurt young mothers 
by separating them from their babies.

Finally, I urge women to NOT adopt, no matter how much you want a 
baby of your own. Adopting is legal, of course, and it is immensely 
profitable for brokers and agencies -- but it is terribly unfair to 
young mothers at the most vulnerable time in their lives.

Please, don't be part of that treachery and covert theft.